my last post was a month ago. unacceptable, right? i know.

so, i’m going to try to make an extremely long story short in an attempt to explain why i have been such a terrible blogger lately. (bad, blogger! bad!)

you might remember this post from around thanksgiving, when my thyroid first decided that this was no cowboy romance and it could, indeed, quit me.

now, if you don’t know much about the thyroid, here is a very scientific definition i found in an esteemed medical journal: the thyroid (THīroid) is the supreme ruler of EVERY-FUCKING-THING in your body. so when it decides to grow a massive (benign) tumor and quit doing its job, it can really screw things up.

basically, i’ve been a hormonal, heart-palpitating, weight-fluctuating disaster for months. this all culminated in surgery to remove the tumor—which turned out to be the size of a baseball—along with the majority of my thyroid a few weeks ago (see above photo of me and my insane family before my surgery). since then, i’ve had the alzheimer’s disease of an 90 year old, the hot flashes of a 55 year old, and the energy level of a corpse. in short, it’s been a good time.

it’s important to note that i am a dramatic person and this will all be taken care of in time. the point of this rambling post isn’t to whine, but to explain that my lack of blogging has come from a general lack of motivation to do anything at all. (you should see me trying to finish a one-page homework assignment. you’d think i was rewriting the oxford english dictionary.)

i regularly have 10-12 hour days and then come home to a mountain of homework (oh, grad school, how i loathe thee…), so with the addition of my health issues, blogging started to feel like a chore for the first time, and the quality of my blogging suffered. after a while, rather than force it, i kind of just stopped. okay, i totally just stopped.

but i’ve missed blogging. like, a lot. i miss having this outlet and interacting with you guys. i miss forcing my obnoxious views on various topics down your throats and reading the hate mail that ensues (“NICKI MINAJ IS AWESOME AND YOU’RE JUST A DUMB SLUT.”)

so, this is me coming crawling back. i really can’t quit you, you sonofawhoresonbitch.